Ultimate Guide To Social Skill : How To Improve Your Social Skill with 9 creative ways

What if you could talk to anyone, anytime, anywhere and never worry about awkward silences or saying the wrong things? Wouldn't that feel great?

When you first meet someone, what do they notice about you?
Beyond how you look.

All they know is how you make them feel in the first few seconds of meeting them. And if you don't make them feel good, they're probably already thinking about how to gracefully and quickly move on. Tough, but true.
If your social skills aren’t where you want them to be, it can be tough to live a truly Rich Life.
That’s why in this Ultimate Guide, I’m going to show you how to quickly and easily improve your social skills. You'll learn how to use the power of body language and charisma to create lasting connections with people.
The next time you’re out at a bar, a wedding, or an event, you'll be able to confidently approach new people and always know exactly what to say.
No more being forgettable. No more feeling like a wallflower. And definitely no more awkwardness.
I’ve spent years studying, testing, and refining the best strategies for improving these skills — and I'm going to walk you through how you can improve your social skills in this guide.

Why Social Skills Are More Important Than People Think 

 
Have you ever totally embarrassed yourself in front of someone you just met?

Maybe you’ve done something like offered a drink to a recovering alcoholic at a bar? (Yes, I actually did this.) Or told a joke that completely bombed? Or maybe you’ve tried to start up a conversation...only to have it die out a few moments later?

If any of these sound familiar to you, then you know the importance of social skills.

But these examples only scratch the surface.


The true cost of not having this skill goes much deeper than just feeling uncomfortable or embarrassed from time to time.
Here are three key reasons why social skills are so important to your life.

Reason #1

Poor social skills have hidden costs

you might think social skills only matter for dating and parties, but they're absolutely crucial in business, too. They can be the difference between getting a massive payday or nothing at all.

Here’s an example: One of my friends runs a successful tech business and was considering acquiring a small, 1-man company.
After a night of drinking, he asked me what I thought of the guy behind the 1-man company. As a friend, I told him the brutal truth: the guy was way too cocky for his experience, I wouldn’t want him on my team, and I told him exactly why.

My friend canceled the acquisition the next day. That guy will never know that his social skills cost him a 7-figure payday.

While it might not be a million-dollar payday that you miss, that same thing is happening in your workplace every day.

Your boss looks at his boss and, at review time, they both agree some people just aren’t management material. Or they're not ready for the best projects.
If you can’t deal with people the right way, opportunities will keep passing you by. Are they passing you by?

Reason #2

Even the “naturals” work hard to be liked

Take a second to imagine your favorite celebrity being interviewed on a talk show.

Isn’t it fascinating how they always have fun, amusing stories to tell?
While it seems like these stories unfold off-the-cuff, they’re actually tested, refined, and practiced for months in advance. In fact, these stories often go through many iterations before they’re ever ready to be told in front of an audience.

If you want to see someone who applies rigorous testing and practice before taking their work to a public stage, look at Chris Rock. It takes him at least 6 months just to develop an HOUR-long stand up show. But by the time Rock arrives on stage,
he’s flawless.

You can take this same approach with your social skills.

Yes, improving what you say and how you interact with others will take some practice. And yes, it can feel a little weird to work on this. But every highly socially skilled person works on this -- even if they’re just practicing in ordinary conversations day-to-day.

Reason #3

If your social skills are missing the mark,
nobody will tell you

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Imagine you’re about to go on a date or job interview. You don’t know it, but there’s a piece of spinach stuck in your teeth, and even though everyone sees it, nobody tells you about it!

A lot of us go through life like this. We have little idiosyncrasies that turn people off or keep us from making a good impression. Most of us never learn what they are, but once we’re aware of them, our lives can change dramatically.

Here’s an example: back in high school I applied to dozens of scholarships.

Even though I was a great candidate on paper, I could never get past the interviews. I never understood why until I videotaped myself giving a mock interview. When I watched the tape, I realized I never smiled!

I thought I was coming across as a fun, gregarious guy, but watching that tape I looked like a dull, humorless robot.

That was a crucial piece of feedback that I was missing -- and no one in the interviews told me about. Instead, opportunities just kept passing right by me, and I didn’t know why.

Of course, there are other ways to get feedback besides taping yourself, but the rewards can be just as profound.
Take a look at my friend, Michael Ellsberg, as an example. He’s someone who went from being a total loser in high school to becoming a successful writer, speaker, and author of The Education of Millionaires.

And one of the biggest turning points in his life came from getting brutal and honest feedback. The experience was so powerful he broke down in tears right there on the spot.

How to be interesting

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The key to small talk is being interesting. If you're not interesting, you can actually see people's eyes glaze over.

Whenever I used to talk at a party or in work meetings, people would give me blank stares and completely check out. For a long time I had no idea what was going on, but I eventually discovered the mistake I was making.

Live small talk teardowns and word-for-word scripts for you to try out

Alright, now that we’ve laid the foundation, let’s dive into the details.

In the video, I explain how small talk really works, give you some simple tips to master it, and even include a LIVE teardown of someone making small talk. You can apply the insights from this conversation to the next one you have and make yours a success.

How do you keep the conversation
going smoothly?

We’ve all been in conversations that suddenly fizzle out. One minute you’re standing there chatting away. The next you’re awkwardly looking around and frantically searching for something clever to say...but the words just won’t come.
Does this happen to you?

It doesn't have to. With a few easy tricks, you can keep any conversation rolling along at just the right pace -- without asking too many questions or talking too much.

How to skillfully exit a boring conversation

As fun as it is to talk to new people, eventually every conversation must come to an end.
But for a lot of people, it can be hard to escape. Especially if you’ve followed the tips from above, you’ll have people that never want you to go away.
Rather than just awkwardly backing away from them or making lame excuses that you have to go, here’s how you can skillfully end any conversation -- and still keep good rapport with the person you’re speaking to.
It’s a simple tip, but it’s ultra handy, especially if you ever find yourself in the midst of a weird conversation and want out.

Overcoming Shyness & Building Confidence 

We all feel awkward and unsure at times.
Just think back to your first day of high school or at your job. Did you feel vulnerable? Were you unsure what to say or how to connect with other people?
While that's a common feeling, what if you could go into new situations without feeling that way ever again? Imagine if you always felt confident and natural when you tried new things or met new people.

Below are two of my favorite techniques to boost your confidence in any situation.

 

Confidence Technique #1

The Invisibility Cloak Technique

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Here is a simple but effective way to cover up your fears and anxieties when entering an uncomfortable situation.

It goes like this: whenever you’re in a social situation, imagine you’re wearing a cloak that makes you invisible or covers up certain parts of you.

Now, it’d be weird if you walked around with a crazy Halloween mask or cape on and went into a Starbucks saying “Greetings, how’s your day?”

Not going to go well.
But what if, mentally, you can apply this same tactic? If I go to a conference, I’ll put on my Invisibility Cloak which allows me to feel confident and say, “Who am I going to be today? What is my behavior going to reflect?”

If I want to be a gregarious, friendly, outgoing guy, I’m not changing who I am on the inside to be inauthentic. I’m just changing my behavior on the outside.

What you'll find is that over time, your attitude will change to match your behavior.

 

Confidence Technique #2

Make confidence building a game

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Here are two fun ways you can build up your confidence: the 60 Seconds Game and the Compliments game.

 

 

The key to lasting confidence

How to eliminate shyness for good

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Many shy people can use the tactics above to boost their confidence for a little while but find themselves slipping back into their timid habits.
Luckily, overcoming shyness is easier than you’d expect. In fact, it just takes a subtle mental shift to rid yourself of this pesky emotion for good.

Ultimate Guide to Social Skills — Part 5

How to Master Group Conversations – Simply And Effectively

 

Group conversations can be very tricky.

Groups come with a lot of moving parts. No one can predict exactly what someone else will say, who will show up, or where you’ll even be. While that's part of the fun of being in a group, it can be stressful if you're not sure how to behave or what to say in group settings.
In these situations, it’s normal to feel excluded and anxious. It’s normal to wonder, “What do these people think about me?” All of these things are normal.

But with the right tools and a little bit of practice, you can be as confident talking with a group of strangers as you are with your close friends.

Here are some of the best tips and strategies I’ve learned to handle any group setting.

How to feel at ease in groups

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The number one thing you can do to make great impressions in group settings is get proactive.

Think about it. How many people just show up to a group event and stand there with their backs against the wall, expecting to be entertained by someone else?
That’s not only rude, it's a terrible strategy for making a good impression. When you do this, you’re leaving what everyone thinks of you up to chance.
The better approach is to take control of the situation -- so you decide how people remember you.

You can accomplish this in a couple of different ways:

 

1. Brainstorm a list of topics to talk about BEFORE you ever get to the event. 

That way you don’t have to stand there awkwardly, trying to come up with clever things to say.

What should be on your list?
People want to talk about what other people are talking about. To get a shortlist, just look at the news, Twitter, or Facebook. The trending topics on these platforms are the perfect kinds of things to bring up in group conversations. Plus, they make for easy icebreakers and allow you to be proactive in striking up conversations.

So you might say something like, “Did you see what so-and-so did at the MTV music awards yesterday?” Or, “Woah, did you know what so-and-so is doing?”

It encourages people in the group to chime in and say, “Yeah! I saw that! That was crazy!” Or you’ll have others who say, “No, what’s happening?” Then you can explain it briefly to kickstart a deeper conversation.
It’s a great way to get a group conversation rolling along and everyone engaged.

2. Plan the type of impression you want
to leave on people.

To do that, ask yourself:

When you spend some time planning these things out, you can have some conversation ideas on hand that give off the impression you want.
For example, if you want to make people laugh, prepare a few jokes and a list of funny things to talk about. If you want people to know you’re intelligent, do a little research and put together a list of fun facts to drop into a discussion.
The point is by doing this up front, you remove all the guesswork. You're prepared with material to use when the opportunity is right.

 

Engage everyone in the conversation

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The next step to making a great impression in group events is to engage everyone.
One thing that irritates me at group events is when you see two people having a conversation all by themselves. Sometimes they'll even talk loud enough that no one else can speak.
Don't be those people. If you're speaking, engage other people as much as you can.
You can do it by using my humbly titled: S.E.T.H.I. technique.

Smile: Simple, but very effective. In a group, you naturally trust, like and gravitate toward people with genuine smiles. In the beginning, forcing yourself to smile more might feel fake, but keep practicing. It's worth it.

Energy: Take whatever energy level you’re at now and add 50% more energy. Test it in small, anonymous places like at a coffee shop. See what kind of reactions you get. Then work up to using it at work and with your friends. You’ll be amazed at the difference. Don't believe me?

 Talk Slower: Fast talking is a sure-fire way to make people tune out. If you're a fast-talker, forcing yourself to slow down, while awkward for you, will be a welcome change to your listeners.

Hands: Your hands can be very expressive. Adding gestures (and not hiding your hands in your pockets or crossing your arms) can dramatically improve your communication.

Eye Contact: The most socially fluent people don't avoid eye contact, nor do they stare down other people. They look at you, they look away, then they come back. You can practice this rhythm, too.

Get invited to more group events

(so you practice more)

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When I first moved to NYC, I wanted to go out and enjoy the nightlife but didn’t know anybody. Even though I was desperate to unwind and have fun after a long week of work, I stayed in and spent many of those nights alone.
My phone never rang, nobody texted me, I just sat there bored out of my mind. It was the WORST. I don’t want you to have any nights like that.
In the 8-minute video below, you’ll see my 2-step process for getting more invites to events and parties (and spending fewer Fridays alone).

Get invited to more group events

(so you practice more)

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When I first moved to NYC, I wanted to go out and enjoy the nightlife but didn’t know anybody. Even though I was desperate to unwind and have fun after a long week of work, I stayed in and spent many of those nights alone.
My phone never rang, nobody texted me, I just sat there bored out of my mind. It was the WORST. I don’t want you to have any nights like that.
In the 8-minute video below, you’ll see my 2-step process for getting more invites to events and parties (and spending fewer Fridays alone).

 

Ultimate Guide to Social Skills — Part 6

How to Be More Likeable

 

How can you become more likeable?

If you were to ask someone, they’d probably say “smile more!” That's good advice, but there is another simple technique just as powerful (if not more) -- eye contact.
It seems so obvious, but most people overlook it. They don’t consciously use eye contact, which is a shame because it is one of the most valuable tools you have at your disposal. With a half-second look, you can convey anything from confidence to insecurity to friendliness.

Eye contact is a key piece of my S.E.T.H.I. technique, but I want to give you a special eye contact challenge you can use to quickly improve how you use eye contact.

The Eye Contact Challenge

Yes, I'm asking you to test your eye contact. Notice I’m not saying “Get better at it!” I want you to see the difference when you try different types of eye contact. When done correctly, it can build rapport and intimacy. When done poorly, it can make you look like a serial killer. (We cover the difference in the clip below.)

Here's how to do it: Try holding eye contact for a second longer than you normally would. Practice on your waiter, barista, or the person at the checkout counter.

• How do you feel?
• How does the other person react?

Learning to pay attention to the subtle yet powerful differences can completely change how people respond to you in social situations.

Likeability hacks: hold eye contact for a second longer than you normally would. Practice on your barista today. 

Ultimate Guide to Social Skills — Part 7

Take Your Social Skills to a New Level

It's time to put your new social skills into action.

You've learned how to be more confident and taken your social skills to a whole other level. So what's next?

Look for new opportunities to test what you've learned. Remember, social skills are learned, and it gets easier with practice.

So put yourself into situations where you can try making small talk, play confidence-building games and confidently engage people in group conversation.

As you become more fluent in social situations, the rewards can be huge — from simply being more comfortable around people, to meeting a new circle of friends, to accelerated progress in your career.
Whatever your interest, I'll give you some of my best material to help you succeed.